This Feeling Should be Mutual

 "Handsome"

The first word that appeared on my mind the first time I saw him. Guessed my brain is the culprit this time. 

"Easy girl, being handsome is not enough, he should be kind, has good attitude, religious, or even better when he doesn't realize that he got such a really good looking face", me talking to myself. In case I couldn't hold my feeling and swayed by his looks.

But the problem is..

He possesses all of that. Damn..

I talked to him for the very first time through chat, and he seems like a shy person, didn't talk that much, kept avoiding himself to bother others. But at the same time, I realized that he is such a diligent, though and determined person, and I like him for that.

Strangely he has this kind of aura that can make me obedient. He made me think that everything is make sense. 

***

Finally got a chance to meet him in person.

What a very kind and thoughtful person. I can't help but feeling shy and happy, he made me got this mix feeling. I ain't use to be treated by man, so this feeling feels kinda new for me. He took good care of everyone and me, he focused on his work and only talk when needed. He walked behind me and helped me to do little things, small gesture that made me felt butterflies after such a long time.

no.. don't fall for him. no..

***

Our conversation got improve, not only about work but also little things about ourself. Favorite movie, what to do on weekend, and sometimes a little things like a deep emotional sharing. 

I can't help but smile when he asked me to sit next to him for our next meeting. 

Once again, I told myself. Don't fall..

***

Lost counting on how many times we chatted and shared our little concern and insecurity, to finally be able to get comfortable around each other. So when I asked him to get our work done together on the weekend, he gladly said yes!

***

I think I fell into trap. I got trap by myself without me even realizing it.

The Sunday that we spent together, turned to be something that made me a little bit afraid of myself and my feeling. 

I never expected that we were going to chat a lot, shared a lot, and laughed a lot. I never expect that I might get really comfortable around him, and got to know another side of him. Such a cheerful and funny person. I never expect that the more I know him, the more he looks really interesting and charming.

***

Let me tell you a little secret. I prayed to god and have my own wishlist for god.

Strangely, he is all that..

This happen too fast.. 

I'm excited but afraid to get hurt again.. 

He got hurt twice, I got hurt several times.

But I want this to work.

***

Hope this feelings are mutual.

This feeling should be mutual.