Dear Ex

Hi, it’s been a long time.

4 years isn’t a short time right?

Actually I’m quite ashame, because the fact that even after this years, I’m still writing about you.

At first, back in 2011, I never thought that you will become someone important in my life. In this past years, I tried so hard to move on. To move on with my life without you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

You keep coming to my mind in certain circumstances. I already tried to push it away, to cope my loneliness and not thinking about you.

But these day, I’m not doing well. I keep dreaming about you and it makes me sad. To woke up in the morning after a long and painful dream about you being married to another girl and have your little family already. I’m quiet surprise because it keeps bothering me. I had a gloomy day and mood swing everytime I dreamed about you.

Because it hurts. Painful.

I dunno why you keep appear in my dream. Do I miss you? Or do you miss me?

I’ve tried so hard to move on. Like Seriously.

 I’m going to sleep after fangirling (things I love the most nowadays). But still.. you keep appear out of nowhere. And it’s always you being married.

I dunno why. But it hurts me so much.

I dunno where are you now. Are you literally married or not. Are you happy? Healthy?

Wherever you are, please stay safe and be happy, F..

*i dont know if you are ever going to read this